Why We’re So Much Wiser Afterwards…
We have a certain idea in our head, how the perfect birth should be. Looking back, it often turns out to be different- that we would do things differently. We are learning every day from making mistakes and it’s just part of being human.
Giving birth is one of those things you don’t know really know what to expect.
How will you deal with the pain? Who is going to be on duty (doctor, midwife) ? How is your partner going to react? How will you (as a Mamma) turn into a very different person? And then, there is always the question- “What if it all goes wrong?” We like the idea that we can leave it to the doctors, who are professionals…
However, if things go wrong I often hear that the hospital, doctor, midwife/partner, room, location … takes the blame.
And I understand very well, because somehow the giving birth experience was different than expected. But it’s not necessarily the doctor’s or midwife’s fault. It’s often our fault because we never had a clear idea of what we actually wanted. We are also not aware of our rights, for example, like changing a midwife in case it doesn’t work well together.
We seem to have too little time to focus on our own birth.
Considering that this, on average, it only happens 1-3 times in our life- we should put some more effort into it!
Compare it to marriage. (And maybe you are one of the “lucky” ones who gets married 3 times in a lifetime, haha, j/k) One thing is for sure- your wedding was well thought through!
I needed a wake up call and so did my partner. We were busy and had “no time”. Then, an angel called Midwife Mary Malloy changed our whole view. Without this wake up call we probably would have “planned“ our birth differently. And we are happy we did not. I knew that I found the place where I wanted to give birth, I knew my rights, I knew my partner is ready to react and to JUST be there for me. I felt safe.
There is no need to feel worried or overwhelmed when you are thinking about your birth.
